| baby is this love for real? |
[20 Mar 2007|06:11am] |
triple ceeeeeeees biotch. in michigan with nuthin to do but get fucked up. i meesh everyone!
ps.
i think youre gay for ditching us. because i totally think you're cute. and im cuter than her. and we were supposed to chill. faggot
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| this is my five string serenade.... |
[14 Jan 2007|04:48pm] |
i'm moving back to michigan. i'm going to miss everyone so much. it's exciting and daunting at the same time. i don't know what will happen to brandon and i. maybe things will work...but i've never believed in long distance anything. we were listening to music and i put on mazzy star. he told me that's what he'll listen to when i'm gone. made me want to cry. i guess i should be flattered. i always wondered what kind of music would be left in my wake. mazzy star couldn't be a better choice. but now i know i'll cry when i hear it. i think he will too. i'm hoping to go to school for forensic science. why not? it's interested me since i was little. you know...before csi. i'm a little sick. it was worse...but i've been getting better. i can't wait to go to work tomorrow in tip top shape. i have to make up for being so useless on account of me being sick and all. i don't ever know what to write in here anymore. psh. fuck it. if you wanna talk to me myspace me or call. or something.
www.myspace.com/defiantapple
(561) 628-5904
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| they call us hopeless dreamers... |
[03 Jan 2007|09:09am] |
Well, it was Friday night last week we got pulled over with an O
53 and Ogden by a condescending po
Tried to fill his quota book
Stopped us no reason just the way we look
We would not let him search the car he said he'd call his dogs
But we were not worried cause
It was under 30 grams of 40/80 shit
Costly, it was good bud though, I admit
But I don't wanna be a part of it
I will not give in
We must change from within… the system
They call us hopeless dreamers
They don't know what we are
Imposing their ancient values
I wonder if they care, I wonder if they care
Then they pulled us out of Cockboy's Caddy—"Hands on the hood!"
But the piggies didn't find it cause we hid it so good
Pat down I knew he had a wood
Touching me only where my girl should
Yeah, to fuck with the system you need much wisdom
But first, but first you gotta work with them
Probable cause has definite flaws
It's up to us to change the laws
Your word against mine is your policy
Now, show me where's the legality
When you use your authority
To just instill fear in me
What's up with your power trip?
It was later on that night before they finally let us go
Off to the donut shop and then we blazed half that O
So tough with your fake authority
Some day you'll learn you’re the same as me
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| turn it inside out again... |
[29 Nov 2006|01:23pm] |
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shit's been straight. partied with charlee a little. brandon's been sweet. my money problems are diminishing. can't wait for michigan with teeny weeny.
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| this bottle of steven's awakens ancient feelings... |
[21 Nov 2006|10:12pm] |
i saw you at dunkin donuts. i didn't know if i should have said hi or not so i didn't say anything. i was happy to see you hanging out with tyler. it's good to know you aren't alone because no one deserves to be alone. you looked happy. that's awesome. i dunno. i guess i just wanted to say i don't harbour any bad feelings towards you. and i don't hate you or have any grudges. i don't think we'd ever be how we were. but i want you to know that i don't hate you. and there are definately times that i miss you. i've been mean and i've been immature but no one can say that they haven't. i guess i just don't like grudges. and i don't have one. anthony put me through enough of that to know what it's like. i'm rambling. whatever. it was just kinda cool to run into you. and i wish i'd had the guts to say hello. and tell you i'm sorry and i miss knowing you. i guess.
things have been ok. i'm kinda struggling financially...but i'll pull through. i always do. i rented a book on photoshop from the library. there's so much that i didn't know! i keep learning more and more and my shit keeps turning out better and better. it's exciting. yay for digital art and stuff! and i'm really happy that i've been losing weight. i'm a zero now!!!!! i wore a double zero in 6th grade and that's one size smaller! yay for me!!!!!!!! it pisses brandon off but he'll live. i'm almost a little tipsy. vodka and cran-raspberry is really good ad yummy. and i've been spending a lot of time with charlee and christine. it's been really awesome. i'm stressed about my money situation but i refuse to go back to my dad and beg him to care about me. there is nothing worse than going out on your own and failing. i refuse to fail. it's just hard. i can't wait to visit michigan with christine. i need the vacation. i think we're going to rent a car an visit anthony too. which would be really cool. if i can afford it by then.
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[19 Nov 2006|01:22pm] |
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saw happy feet with charlee at the imax. AWESOME. hanging out with teeny weeny. we're gon get us some manicures. yay for girly stuff! ummm....atha atha athat's all folks...
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[14 Nov 2006|02:58pm] |
i want to go home. i'm so sick of the rent issues. steven is so ANNOYING! it's really getting to the point that i can't stand him. steven's mom is really nice...but honestly $500 a month? it's just a little ridiculous. just a little. i feel like i can't ever save enough for any of the things i need like new brakes or college applications because by the time i get a considerable amount i have to give it up for rent and i'm left with like 20 bucks. for gas. i haven't even bought cigarettes today. i'm trying to quit. not because it's a healthy choice...but because it's an economic one. at least i have brandon. i'm not alone you know? i really want to see if my dad would let me move back in. i'd pay him rent...just not as much as i'm paying now. and then i could go to school for the spring semester and live on campus. i'd be gone by february. he won't sell the house and move in that little time. i'm just not ready to be on my own like this right now. i don't have enough skill to get a good enough paying job for it. i don't make enough money to really support myself and it really frustrates me. i'll probably never talk to my dad about it and just deal with it for as long as i can because i am determined to prove myself. it's just really hard. sometimes i wish i had never left michigan. i know my mom and i didn't get along...but if i had stayed there i'd probably still be dancing and i'd be in school and i wouldn't have these problems. it just makes me mad that i fucked up so bad and made things so hard for myself. i have to work through it because that's part of being responsible...but it fucking sucks sometimes. at least i have my friends. that's always comforting.
( 10 things for 10 people )
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[12 Nov 2006|11:09am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
life is so good right now. i lost a couple friends on the way...but who cares? i've never been happier in my life. i do things. i go places. i'm getting ready for school. i improved my relationships with my family. charlee and i chill quite a bit. and everything is fun with charlee. no moping. no stupid drugs. no worries. i'm a major stoner though. every day. it's the only drug i do. christine is awesome. brandon is awesome. i get to work with judd. katie makes every second i'm with her full of sunshine and rainbows and happiness. i go to the beach. i can afford to do things. i live on my own kinda sorta. i look good. i feel great. and i can feel my confidance surging for the first time ever. I AM NOT UGLY! hahahahahahahaha! it feels so awesome to say that and mean it. i am so grateful for everything i have now. my life is so full of love and goodness. i don't want to take any of it for granted. i went through a lot to get here. i won't waste it. i saw borat with brandon last night. images from that movie will huant me for the rest of my life...but it was really funny. anywho. just updating to say WAAAAAAZZZZUUUP! i'ma go for now. LATE!
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| i see a red door and i want it painted black... |
[01 Nov 2006|02:24pm] |
stuff's good.
i'm wasting time before work at the library.
i think i'm going to apply for a job. here.
at the library.
i can't wait to visit michigan in december with christine!
it's been so long since i've seen snow!
we're going to go tobogganning! (i hope....)
my mom and step dad have property in northern michigan.
the ponds freeze over and stuff. there's woods and snow
and a chimney with a fireplace
and hot cocoa
ans sweaters
and red faces
and all sorts of christmasy fun to be had.
i have the buddy passes all set up.
all we have to do now is pick a date and duration to stay.
YAY!
i don't think i can go to the thing staurday.
my work needs me.
but if you want to do the humane society thing
gimme a call ahead of time
so i can get the day off!
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| you don't impress me. you don't intimidate me. why don't you bow down? get on the ground! |
[30 Oct 2006|11:14pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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why don't you just quit it already and practice what you preach? if you're so much more mature than me why don't you just ignore these livejournal arguments? i promise you i will ALWAYS have a reply for yours. being so very infantile it really is odd that you keep telling other people to grow up. if i'm so immature what could you possibly gain, what with your enormous level of maturity and adultlyhood (i made that word up. and as immature as i may be for it i like the way it sounds and will continue to use it thank you very much), from reading the journal of someone so childlike in their thoughts? why do you waste your time reading my journal when you could be reading poetry or a great play oh great and wise and mature one? why don't we just give it a rest? i'll delete you. forget your livejournal domain. and you do the same for me. and then there won't be anything to remind us of the other! ::gasp:: what a concept! i understand that, in lue of recent events, we don't really even have mutual friends. or if there are no one mentions you so i won't have to hear your name. and i'm sure, being of such a mature state, your friends must be just as mature as you and wouldn't think about bringing my bad energy to a conversation by mentioning me! and you could forget me! and then at our high school reunion we'll tell our dates that the other was "that bitch from high school". and then i won't be pestered by your little livejournal attempts at being condescending. and you won't be irritated by my immature rants! GLORY GLORY HALLELUJA! THE LORD HAS ANSWERED OUR PRAYERS WITH A SOLUTION! and just to prove how mature i can be. i'm going to start...NOW!
brandon and i argued today. it sucked.
and i didn't eat a lot. which is always awesome.
and christine and i bonded today.
it was fun.
and i went to a greenpeace meeting!!!! i'm so excited for saturday!!!
i hope i can go...
all in all today was much better than bad.
and that makes me smile.
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| i heard that you were talking shit and you didn't think that i would hear it... |
[28 Oct 2006|12:00am] |
| [ |
mood |
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content |
] |
ummm.
at first i thought it would be cool to be straight with you.
not so much now.
for you to sit there
and say the things you said about her
and then turn around and be buddy buddy with her
is kinda gross
not only because it makes you fake to her
but because it means you were
fake to me when we were
supposedly
best friends.
i'm not going to call and bitch you out
for who you choose to be friends with
so you don't need to be "scared" of me
we're not friends
so who you hang with is really not my business
or my problem
anymore.
i just really thought it was kinda weird and gross of you.
and wanted to get that off of my chest.
and as for you.
i have a boyfrind.
that i am VERY happy with.
i don't need
or want
yours.
and if your definition of
fucking up your life is
turning yourself around
and taking control
and being happy every single day with the way things are
even if you don't have everything you want
or even everything you need
and knowing that you're going to have to work
twice as hard
and twice as long
to get where you want to be
then yeah.
i guess i fucked up my life.
but i'd rather live with what little i got
then have all the shit in the world
and still be a conceited
inconsiderate
and hurtful
person.
i did nothing to you
and your recent behavior is really
very
unwarranted and undeserved.
you always seemed to have a very
aloof mood.
so i always assumed you were just nice to me
because i was friends with him.
i've known him for two years.
longer even than brandon.
if i had ever wanted to make a move on him
it would have been then.
your theories are ridiculous
your paranoia
unneccesary.
you can believe whatever you choose to believe
and you will
but i will not let someone try to
fuck
with my character.
no one is going to think i'm some evil
boyfriend stealing bitch
just because you can't let go
of the fact that maybe
just maybe
the individuals in a relationship
might
have friends of the opposite sex
and actually not want to hook up with them
your boyfriend isn't SO wonderful
that all of us other girls are dying to be with him.
i love brandon
and he's all i want and all i need
and we've had our problems
and i've hurt him
and he's hurt me
but we've grown to a level
that we've never reached before.
i couldn't be happier.
he trusts me
and i trust him
maybe you should try that sometime...
now that i've gotten all of that out of the way...
work is going well.
so is home life.
and my relationship.
i can't wait for halloween.
ellie and i are going costume shopping tomorrow.
i cant wait!!! i wonder what i'll be.
i'm really leaning towards going as a doll.
like uber scary/cute.
instead of slutty.
i'm going to a prty tomorrow night.
it'll be awesome to see katie there!!!
it's been so long since i partied for real!!!
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| there goes my hero.... |
[22 Oct 2006|10:00pm] |
life is going good.
don't have my computer.
been updating from steven's and the library.
love all of you so much.
call me you dorks!!!!
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| you dug your own grave so lay in it baby.... |
[20 Oct 2006|07:45pm] |
ever felt bad for someone who lost everyone important in their life because of THEIR OWN GODDAMN MISTAKES and still seems to think it was everyone else's fault and they did nothing wrong?
yeah. me neither.
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| uh huh this my shit all the girls stomp your feet like this... |
[16 Oct 2006|09:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 artistic |
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chillin.
took 2 boxes to steven's.
smoked some herb.
i think everyone should get photoshop.
and make pixels.
because it's the best thing in the world.
it's so much fun and it takes
uber patience.
it really chills me out.
i can sit and pixelate for hours.
i can't wait until i get really good at it.
so i can make more
complicated
things.
ps
i really have to pee.
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| beneath the wormwood ooh love me so good they won't hear us screw away the day.... |
[14 Oct 2006|12:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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accomplished |
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i am FINISHED
with any drug
that isn't pot.
i didn't even really want to take roxies.
it just bothered me that brandon did
and i didn't think he'd quit them for me
because i told him i didn't like him taking them
so i took them too.
you know
if you can't beat them join them
and i threw up today
twice.
i took them last night.
and now i'm puking?
that can't be good.
and as scared for brandon as i was last night
i'm glad he had a shitty experience on them
because he's through with them now too.
drugs are dumb.
i'm sticking to pot and alcohol.
and maybe shrooms because they're natural.
nothing else.
no coke.
no pills.
no acid.
none of that shit.
it's just bad.
(and i know there are a shitload of you out there
chomping at the bit for the chance to say
i told you so...
you all can fuck off. it's something i needed
to learn on my own kthnx)
i'm just glad that
that part of my life
is finally over.
i'm not a druggie anymore.
and i feel a little better about myself.
now i'm just an average young person
who likes to have not-so-sober fun
occasionally.
i work hard.
so i play hard.
but not too hard.
yay!
this marks an important day in my history.
kelcie kicks hardcore drugs!
10/14/06!!!!!
( i'm in the mood. are you ready? )
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| can't you hear my heart beat fast i want this to last... |
[12 Oct 2006|02:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
today was interesting.
i got a call at 8:30 in the morning for a wake n bake.
from greg.
so he and his friends came over and smoked me out like 3-4 bowls.
i got blazed.
they left.
i watched sisterhood of the traveling pants (and it made me cry)
and then danny called.
so i drove around with him for a while
and we smoked half a bowl.
and a lot of cigarettes.
looked for a pawn shop.
went all the way to like city place
(the LONG way)
and then came back.
and i got starbucks.
and now im just relaxing before work.
i wonder what'll happen tonight.
tomorrow is my day off so if anyone wants to like
hit up the beach or something
it's be really cool
cause i need a tan real bad.
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